~ Part 1 ~
You try to fight it off, try to remove the negative thoughts in your head. Things you don’t believe is true, yet can’t help to wrap your mind around it. You know it’s wrong, so you try to do what’s right and fight it off. Yet try as you might it still comes back. It haunts you, taunts you, paralyzes you yet you keep on fighting back.
“What’s the use” you’d think, nothing changes anyway. At times you feel like giving up, feel like letting go and just let yourself fall. More times you feel like doing it, just let it all fall from your hand and slide through your fingers. “Just give up” you’d think, “Let it all go”.
Yet you remember the person around you. The one who needs you and can’t live without you. You start thinking, “What about her? What would she do?” Then you see a glimmer of light. It draws you in let you see what surrounds you, let you see her tears as you fight your own demons. Let you see her pain as you struggle to control yours. You realize her out stretched hand has always been there in front of you.
Waiting for you to reach out and hold on to her hand. Grab hold and never let go. You feel the invisible force behind you pulling you back in, forcing you to face them once more. You start to feel the same pain, the same confusion and agony. You decided to face it once more, fight it once again. Yet you don’t realize that you’ve turned your back on her. You’ve turned your back on her and her out stretched hand.
-
Journal: How? (Part 8)
Part 8 journal by Dianne Mae. Staring into space again. it’s been a year and you’re still so hung up with what happened with him. you keep asking yourself what went wrong.
-
Journal: Circle (Part 7)
Part 7 journal by Dianne Mae. You’re on a limbo. You keep asking yourself if you did the right thing. If stepping away from her is what you’re suppose to do.
-
Journal: Falling (Part 6)
Part 6 journal by Dianne Mae. You see his back, see him walking away. Your heart feels like it’s being crushed to pieces. You can’t seem to keep a hold of your heart. Your brain feels freedom but your heart feels pain.
-
Journal: Awakening (Part 5)
Part 5 journal by Dianne Mae. After a while, you get a chance to meet her. The love of your life. The one girl you can’t be without. Before, you’ve never seen the changes. I didn’t even notice the distance she made. Though now that your’e looking, you realize how far she’s been. You realize…
-
Journal: Choice (Part 4)
Part 4 journal by Dianne Mae. Years have passed and yet your still with him. Your love for him slowly withering away. You watch him cave in himself. Watch him destroy what you both have. Still, you stay by his side.
-
Journal: Tangled Thoughts (Part 3)
Part 3 journal by Dianne Mae. Years passed like a blur. You don’t remember much of it. Don’t remember what you’ve said, what you’ve done. All you remember is the pain. Always the pain.
-
Journal: Confusion (Part 2)
Part 2 journal by Dianne Mae. Patience, a word you so often use. A word you always seek, always need. The word that seems like your world revolved around in. “Where would I find more patience” you’d ask yourself.
-
Journal: Thoughts Between You and Me (Part 1)
Part 1 journal by Dianne Mae. You try to fight it off, try to remove the negative thoughts in your head. Things you don’t believe is true, yet can’t help to wrap your mind around it. You know it’s wrong, so you try to do what’s right and fight it off. Yet try as you…
About the Author
